Self esteem is self-worth, when you respect yourself. It is amazingly surprised to find that kids have high self-esteem when they are young. As they grow older, their self-esteem drops too. It is said that 80% kids in the first grade have high self-esteem. By the time they are in the fifth grade, their self-esteem drops to 20%. When they reach senior high school, their self-esteem is only 5%.  2 of 3 adults in America suffer low self-esteem. Isn’t it scary fact?

It’s often been said that children learn what they live.  So if you’re looking for a way to start helping your child build positive self esteem and self value, then you should start with you first. Respect yourself as parents and respect your kids.  Show them your positive sense of self and strong self esteem.  Be positive when you speak about yourself and highlight your strengths. This will teach your child that it’s okay to be proud of their talents, skills and abilities.

Your child also benefits greatly from honest and positive praise.  Find something about them to praise each day.  You could even give your child a task you know they can complete and then praise them for a job well done after they’re finished. Show your child that positive acts merit positive praise.

When your child’s feeling sad, angry or depressed, communicate openly, honestly and patiently with them. Listen to them without judging or criticizing.  They may not fully understand why they feel the way they do, so the opportunity to communicate with you about it may be what’s needed to help them sort through a difficult situation.  Suggest positive behaviors and options as solutions, and make sure to leave that door of communication open so they know the next time they feel badly, they can come to you for help and know that you won’t judge or punish them for how they’re feeling.

Teach your child the importance of setting goals and developing a plan to meet that goal and complete that task.  Small projects are the best to start off with in the beginning.  Ensure that it’s an appropriate task for your child, and not too complex.  Don’t only give praise at the end of the project, but praise their accomplishments during the project as well.

Most importantly, tell your child “I love you” each and every day – many times throughout the day, in fact.  When they’ve behaved badly, remind yourself that it’s not them you don’t like, only their behavior.  Tuck short, sweet notes in their lunchboxes or coat pockets, or even send them a card in the mail.  Soon, they’ll learn to say “I love you” just as easily and honestly in return.

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The key factor for a child to succeed in life is happiness. If kids are happy and motivated, they will use their best abilities to do things.

Find out 7 action steps on how you and your kids can deal with challenges successfully and build happiness habits that will last a lifetime. You will learn how to help your child to overcome negative feeling, to stay positive and to create self-confidence in him. Download free e-book the Ultimate Kids Guide to Happiness from Patrick McMillan.

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A positive attitude towards change involves realistic assessment of what an impending change may involve, both negatively and positively. It is not a Pollyanna naivete or the repression of feelings. On the positive side, change is seen as an opportunity to expand one’s experience. There is a sense that change is life enhancing and renewing, and essential to well being. On the negative side, when change involves loss, it means actively grieving and processing feelings. And when a change presents obstacles, it means being proactive and confident that one can impact his fate for the better. The following are some steps that parents can take to foster such an attitude in children:

1.As much as we try to make our children’s lives safe and predictable, they will experience changes from time to time, sometimes dramatic changes. As parents, we can use these experiences as teaching opportunities. The first step is to observe your child over a period of time. Note of how your child reacts to the prospect of change. Is there a pattern? Does he generally dig in his heels? Does he become anxious and fearful? Or does he look forward to new experiences? These patterns and attitudes can become the modus operandi going into adulthood. The goal is to change negative patterns and attitudes now before they become entrenched.

2.When your child is faced with a new situation or impending change, talk with him about his feelings. Sometimes this is easier said than done. Depending on the child’s age, temperament and background, he may or may not be able to discuss his feelings directly. If a child has trouble articulating how he feels, approach it indirectly. Perhaps bring up an parallel example from your own life and discuss how you felt at the time. With younger children, it is helpful to use a picture book which in which the main character goes through similar experiences.

3.Allow your child to grieve over losses brought about a change in his life. Acknowledge the losses as real and comfort him in his sadness. If a child is not permitted to express his sadness, it can heighten his anxiety and possibly lead to depression.

4.Discover the picture in your child’s head. A child’s feelings about an impending change are directly correlated to his understanding of what is happening. If the child is telling himself that he will move to a new neighborhood, and be shunned by the neighborhood kids, it makes sense that he is feeling sad and fearful. Ask your child specifically what he thinks the future will hold once the change occurs.

5.Look for catastrophic thinking. Catastrophic thinking is what it sounds like: envisioning a catastrophic outcome, a worse case scenario. It is black and white thinking, but with just the black. Look for the use of the words like “never” “always” “everyone” and “no one”. Some examples might be “I’ll never make any friends at my school”, “Everyone already has friends” “No one will want to be friends with me.” These statement might feel like reality to the child but they are not. It is your job to challenge these statements and help your child develop a more balanced view of what the future may hold. If you repeatedly challenge catastrophic thinking, your child will pick up on the technique and begin to use it himself.

6.Prepare the child in case some his fears are realized. For example, if nobody talks to the child in the new neighborhood suggest that he strike up a conversation up at the bus stop, or knock on a neighbor’s door and introduce himself. Obviously, if the child is very shy or there are other obstacles, you should adjust your suggestions accordingly. Also, ask the child if he can think of solutions. Teaching a child to be proactive as a response to change will have immeasurable benefits over a lifetime. Proactive people feel more in control of their circumstances, and that is directly correlated with life satisfaction.

7.When appropriate, ask a child to try to envision a positive outcome to the change. Encourage him to think of all the wonderful possibilities that a change might bring. This exercise teaches a child to think optimistically. Again, after enough repetition, the child may adopt this technique himself.

8.After a change has occurred and a child has adapted, call attention to his success. Remind him of his “picture in his head” and contrast it with the reality of the situation. This will help him be able to reality test future thinking.

Cindy Jett, LICSW is a psychotherapist living in Reston, VA. She is the author of  “Harry the Happy Caterpillar Grows: Helping Children to Adjust to Change”, a picture story book that teaches young children adaptability skills similar to those outlined in this article. For reviews of her book see Cindy’s website:

http://www.harrythehappycaterpillar.com.

To purchase the book at Amazon.com, please  click the link below:

Harry Happy Caterpillar Grows Children

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School is a place where kids learn social skills and bullying is part of kids growing up. Sometimes, parents or educator often overlooks and regards it as harmless teasing. Bullying may start as teasing which is fun and playful. When teasing is done constantly and the victim gets hurt and angry, it is no longer fun. Bullying can be in forms of verbal or physical abuse. Verbal abuse even go unnoticed and bring psychological damage to the kids and affect s their performance at school. It is important for parents to notice if the child bullies other kids or the child becomes the victim.

Why kids become the victim of bullying
A child often becomes the victim of bullying if he is one of a kind or different from the rest of the kids. A child who has different physical appearance such as too thin or too fat often becomes the victim. If the child is introvert, she may often keep to herself about the verbal abuse or she may worry about her parents’ reaction. Most parents don’t notice if there is no physical injuries. Look for signs when the child shows no enthusiasm of going to school. Coax the child to talk about her friends and find out if she becomes the victim of bullying. Tell her that it is not her fault if she gets bullied. The following strategies may work:

1. Cool down strategies or show Poker Face. Show no expression or no interest when bullying started. Hold the anger or tears. The kids who bully will get satisfaction when the victim cries or gets angry.
2. Talk with someone. Talk with someone older who has been the victim such as her elder sibling. He may have the solution and sharing the similar bad experience makes your child feel better.
3. Tell an adult. Teacher can be a mediator to help stop bullying. Talk between parents of kid who bullies and parents of bullying victim may help resolve the problem if both parents can understand.
4. Remove the luxury. If kids bring luxury items to school, it can be the prey of other kids. Just bring the basic necessities so your child will not fall into a victim.

Why kids bully
Kids bully because kids may feel superior and they think that bullying or teasing the victim is fun and cool. It brings popularity for them or they may follow others to join bullying because of friendship. It is important for parents to teach kids to respect others and appreciate the differences and not making jokes when they see other kids who are different.

At home, you can try to lessen the effect of bullying. Find activities that bring self confidence for your child and make your child happy. Discourage bullying among siblings.

Bullying have existed years after years even when I was in primary school.  I was a victim of bullying during primary and high school. I remembered that my parents talked to the parents of kid who bullied me by repetitive name calling in primary school and it resolved the problem. When I reunited with my school mate in high school recently, he didn’t even remember that he bullied me once.  But bullying leaves a deep scar for the victim that will remember for life.   For my kids,  they just bring basic necessities, decent lunch and less money in school so older kids won’t prey for them.

Diary of Wimpy Kid is just one example of how bullying happened at school. We, parents sometimes them. Phrases that we speak out or actions that we do can make our kids become the victim.

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Ever thought about Goal Setting for Kids? Goal setting is one of the most important skills that a person can learn, and the earlier this skill is learned, the more chances there are for successful outcomes in a person’s life. Adults know that goal setting is all about planning, making progress with that plan and reaching final goals or achievements. Once a child learns how to do this, they can use this tool for more success in school and at home.

Goal setting for kids will help your children to do well on their school tests and in activities such as sports, music programs or outside academic or arts programs – even at home, and with their personal finances. Teaching your child how to be a goal setter will give them a sense that they are capable of whatever they want to do. That’s valuable! Learn more about Goal Setting for Kids.

How to help your child be a goal setting child

Goal setting for children is basically the same as for adults, with a few caveats. Because they are young, and not as emotionally or cognitively developed, goals should be smaller and more tangible. The idea with goal setting for kids is to get them started in the life-long frame of mind for thinking, planning and taking action to achieve results. The basic premises of goal setting remain the same. You can help your child learn to set goals by working through these steps with him:

Ask, “What do you want to achieve?” – Help your child describe in specific terms something he would like to do that will take some work/planning (getting an A on his next math test, earning money to purchase a certain kind of bicycle).

Ask, “How will you get there?” – Help him plan out the steps to take and the mini-goals to reach on his way to the ultimate goal.

Establish accountability – Have your child write down what he wants to achieve and what his plan for getting there is. He can read it each day to help him with personal accountability, and he can share it with you, or another trusted adult to help him stay motivated, inspired and on-track.

Achieve – Achievement is not only for the final outcome, but also for the small goals that are met along the way.

Review plan/goals/outcomes – Throughout the process and at the end as well, review with your child the plan and how it is going. Do adjustments need to be made? How does he feel about his progress and where it is leading? How was the goal setting experience for him?

If your child does not reach his ultimate goal, talk to him about what he learned on the way. He still has learned valuable lessons about planning and goal setting, and he’s probably learned about himself. Encourage him to not give up on dreams that are important to him, but that if one plan doesn’t work, he has to revise the plan and try again.

Teaching your child to be a goal-setting child is one of the best things you can do.

You will be giving him or her, a valuable gift that they will use for their entire lives, empowering them to achieve wonderful things in every area of life. Goal setting for kids is a skill that will be built on throughout an entire lifetime. Find out a fantastic resource about Goal Setting for kids.

Winsome Coutts holds a teacher’s certificate in education and has written hundreds of articles on self-development. She has studied with Bob Proctor and John Demartini, popular teachers featured on “The Secret” DVD. She is the passion behind Goal Setting for kids and is a parent and grandparent.

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I have watched Toy Story 1 and 2 and I think that Toy Story 3 movie  is not as funny as the previous series. Life was not always rosy for Toy story Round-Up Gang when the owner, Andy was grown-up and ready to move on to College life.  Woody and his roundup gang had to think a backup plan if they wanted to remain as play toys for children.   Their decision to stay at daycare was a nightmare and their fate was ruled by the heartless Lotso, a bear with sweet strawberry smell. Woody led the roundup gang for an escape and they made their way back to Andy’s house. With a brilliant idea, Woody left a note for Andy and he suggested toys giveaway to the little girl who would care for toys. Woody and the gang finally found a caring and loving owner, a happy ending for them. What lesson do you learn after watching Toy Story 3? There are friends and foes in a real life but we have to keep making friends. Making friends improves our social skill.

Do you think that adults are better in making friends? Children are more spontaneous. They can make friends easily.  Parents  only need to guide them with some courtesy and let them answer if someone asks questions to them, no need to answer for them. Your children will also observe and take clues from you, how you approach strangers and how you converse with your friends. Let them make friends to learn social skills. They will find good friend, best friend or BFF (best friend forever) for the one with the same interests and hobbies. They will learn that there are good friends like Woody The Leader, Buzz Light Year The Rescuer, Jessie The Faithful Friend or even  a foe like Lotso The Heartless Sweet Talker. This is a life lesson for them.

In real life, we meet with all kinds of people.  We need to learn basic social skills to make friends especially if we are in business. Marketing is all about people, we need to understand people if we want to succeed. If you have WAHM business or online home based business, you must use your social skill to promote your business online via social media sites such as facebook and twitter.  I found myself awkward when I started facebook to promote my  WAHM business to strangers. I learned internet marketing skill and social media skill from Professional Lead System and Magnetic Sponsoring. I put into practice what I learned and I found myself to express words  more easily on social media sites. Practice makes perfect and I find new true friends along the way. Don’t be disheartened if you meet someone like Lotso or your old friends distanced you. Look for like-minded friends instead. Life is not always rosy but experiences will bring maturity and greater height for your WAHM business. I also have a similar Roundup Gang like Woody. I found that having a team such as  Million Dollar Mom will give an encouragement because we work for the same goal.

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Kids who receive love from parents and people around them will grow up to be an emotionally mature person. When they receive love, they will learn how to give and express love to other people as well.  Kids will try at their best abilities in their life and have self-esteem when their need of love is fulfilled.

Please take a look at positive parenting tips, 5 ways to communicate love to our kids

Physical Touch

Physical touch is the easiest way to express love to our kids. Don’t just touch your kids when you attend their basic need such as dressing.

Say Your Love Through Words

Love needs to be expressed through words.  Say it “I love you” to affirm your love, offer words of courage or praise to give them encouragement.  It is important that we don’t always say “Don’t” to our children. Say it positively by using “Do or Please”.

Being Together

Being together doesn’t mean we do passive things such as watching TV or go shopping together and we focus on the objects rather than towards our kids.  Make use the time for a conversation.  Encourage your kids to share their feelings and thoughts.  Whether you play or read stories with them, enjoy the moments of being together.

Giving Gifts

Giving gifts brings an excitement to our kids. Choose the right gift for your child, understand what kind of gift they expect to receive, buy a variety of gifts for each occasion and present the gift in wrapping paper are efforts you should do to make gift presentation a special moment and an expression of love.

Acts of Service

As a parent, we serve our kids. Kids will feel our love through acts of service such as preparing meals for your Kids. For older kids, you shall teach them to serve themselves and to serve younger siblings too.

As parents, we learn positive parenting tips to raise kids in our best efforts.  Practice these 5 ways to communicate love to your kids. Love them unconditionally and they will grow up with lesser problems when they are teenage.

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