How to Build Relationship With Our Kids Through Play

In these modern days, most parents are busy. We often overlook  to build   relationship with our kids. Instead, we focus to attend their basic need  and monitor their school activities.

Do you remember when is the last time you play with your kids? Many parents can not afford to set aside time to play with their kids. Life has made us so serious and focused that we have lost the joy of the simple things. Play was one of the first to go.

But for kids, play is essential for their life. It warms the heart and bring up the spirit. For kids, who live closer than we do to nature, play is as spontaneous as breathing. Sadly, most grown-ups have lost that skill. Our kids can be our reminder.

Playing with your kids brings you back to the present, reminds you of what matters, and slows you down  to smell the roses. It also connects you emotionally with your child, rebuilds the closeness that the fast-paced, boring routines of life are all too quick to strip away.

Playing together is even more important for your kids than it is for you, because they needs to feel close to you and they want to feel loved and happy. If you have neglected time together for long enough, it may appear that your child is not interested in your attention. She may even tell you as much. But that is just a protest.  They hide the fear that you will disappoint them again if they wish for time alone with you. If you initiate playing together, and do it at frequent intervals, even the most distant pre-teen will start to look forward to it and, in time, throw herself into the fun.

What kind of play should you do? Pay attention to the activities your kids engages in: their  play ideas. If these things seem boring to you, try hanging out nearby, observing as they do. Express your curiosity with words. You  may find that you eventually develop a genuine interest. If your child is a couch potato, take up your perch on the couch beside him. After you are allowed “in,” initiate some play that might be more pleasant than TV.

Think back to what you did as a child was memorable, especially activities you did with your parents before. Think about things that are free or cost little, that involves experiencing life together. Start a list of play ideas and add more:

Outdoor Play Ideas

• Taking a walk
• Walking the dog
• Collecting treasures from the nature
• Flying kite
• Getting up early to watch the sunrise

Play Ideas at Home

• Reading comics, joke books, poetry or story books.
• Baking cookies,  a cake or making pizza
• Playing hide and seek
• Playing cards or board games
• Making shadow figures on the wall with your hands and a flashlight
• Building something from blocks
• Making a scrapbook
• Making up a silly poem or song
• Playing a memory game
• Playing games of pretend

Day Trip Ideas

• Watching a parade
• Going to the zoo or museum
• Going somewhere such as to  the beach
• Having a picnic in the park

Playing together is different than finding entertaining activities for your kids. Play involves you, while entertainment eliminates you from the picture. If you find yourself saying, “But my schedule is too busy for any of the things on that list,” consider whether you need to reschedule.  Your child will cherish the moments when you play with her.

Closeness with a child cannot be taken for granted. Like any other relationship, it will slip away unless you make a priority. Nothing builds trust and bonding with kids like sharing a moment of silliness and laughter. Come together for light-hearted play, and you just may find your child opens up about serious subjects. The relaxed atmosphere of play helps us let our guard down and reveal more of ourselves.

When you play together, let your kids feel like the most important person in your world. Give them your undivided attention: no cell phones, no interruptions, no slipping into your own private thoughts. Be present – body, mind and spirit. Then let yourself do whatever comes naturally, imagine what you feel when you yourself were a child. Your instincts will be your guide.

Growing closer through play is easy. It just takes dedicated moments, given on a fairly regular basis, so your kids begin to count on having time with you.

Let your kids teach you the wonderful secrets of play. You both will feel more secure and peaceful – and a whole lot happier, as the reason you do it all for, starts to come back to you.

Build relationship with our kids is not overnight.  Kids need our affirmation that  we love them unconditionally and we trust them.

Winsome Coutts holds a teacher’s certificate in education and has written hundreds of articles on self-development. She has studied with Bob Proctor and John Demartini, popular teachers featured on “The Secret” DVD. She is the passion behind the Goal Setting for Kids and is a parent and grandparent.

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